Someone Like You
by unbreakable86
Summary: When your demons sneak up on you, sometimes all you need is the comfort of your love's embrace. One-shot. Established Rolivia. Check A/N for warnings.


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Dick Wolf does.**

 **A/N 1: Okay, guys… as much as I hated season 18, when I watched 18x13, "Genes", I had to write this! Just a small interlude before finishing** _ **Beauty**_ **.**

 **I know I mentioned Olivia's background a lot in my previous stories and it has probably been talked about a lot in general, but I could not get rid of this idea.**

 **WARNING: if you don't know what the episode is about, it talks about rapists claiming that they are not responsible for their crimes because those tendencies are rooted in their DNA. Olivia struggles in this episode, not only because of her own father, but also because Noah's father was a rapist! Hence, she questions herself and is worried about Noah's upbringing - DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ PLEASE !**

 **Otherwise, happy reading!**

 **xxxx**

 **Someone Like You**

" _Have I told you, have I shown you what I'm feeling when I hold you? It feels like heaven, heaven surrounds me every time you wrap your arms around me. And there is nothing I can say or ever do to deserve the love of a woman like you. When you're with me, when you kiss me, when you tell me how much you missed me. Every moment we're together it brings us closer, closer to forever."_

Olivia Benson was leaning against the doorframe to her son's room, her left cheek pressed against the wood, the door half open as her loving but worried gaze lay upon Noah, gentle breaths being emitted as the boy slept. Her thoughts drifted to Johnny Drake, the monster, the sorry excuse of a man who had been Noah's father and who was now rotting in the ground; these thoughts left a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that maybe, just maybe, a rapist's daughter was not the right person to raise a rapist's son.

With tears in her eyes, she closed the door very slowly, so as not to wake the little boy, when she felt an intense stare on her. Turning to her right, she saw her girlfriend of four years, Amanda Rollins, standing in the doorway to their bedroom, clad only in her Rolling Stones night shirt after her shower, long, creamy, and muscular legs on display, making the brunette swallow hard, despite the unsettling feeling in her chest.

The brunette walked over and wrapped her arms around Amanda's slim waist, the blonde's arms automatically going around the taller woman's neck as the two hugged tightly, Olivia breathing in her girlfriend's scent deeply, both women's eyes closed. Playing with thick, chestnut curls, Amanda waited for her girlfriend to be ready, because from Olivia's whole demeanor she could tell that the brunette was upset, but not yet ready to talk.

It had been a hard case for her with all these rapists claiming that their urges to hurt women were rooted in their DNA, making all of Olivia's deepest, darkest feelings resurface; feelings that made her question everything she was, feelings that made her doubt her every move and her every reaction, and even though Amanda had her fair share of demons, watching her beautiful girlfriend tear herself up over that broke her heart each and every time.

The brunette's shoulders were shaking lightly, Amanda's shirt bunching in tan hands as she balled her hands into fists and silently cried into the black cotton while the blonde began to languidly stroke up and down Olivia's spine, "It's okay, Baby. Let it all out. It's okay. I'm here for you."

A strangled sob left the lieutenant's mouth, her nose running mercilessly, and she sniffed, her voice muffled by Amanda's shoulder, "I'm sorry, Manda. You just showered and here I am, snotting all over you."

Holding her girlfriend just a little bit more tightly, the blonde leaned back a little to be able to look into chocolate brown orbs she loved so much that were now clouded with tears of anguish, breaking Amanda's heart into a million pieces. Olivia Benson was her rock amidst a raging and stormy sea and to see this woman's walls that were built so high come tumbling down brick by brick, just by the gentle touch of her hands, made Amanda love her just a little bit more, "You do not have to apologize to me in any way, Liv. You have been so strong in the last twelve days and that's what I'm here for. You can snot on me all you want because I love you. I love you so much, Olivia Benson, and I want you to be able to let go with me. I'm glad you are, so again, do not, under any circumstances, even think about apologizing to me."

Tucking her nose into flaxen tresses, Olivia nuzzled the spot just below Amanda's ear, taking a deep breath once again to take in the blonde's scent that reminded her of rainy fall afternoons, a hint of vanilla mingling with it that came with Amanda's body lotion, "You smell so good, Baby." Olivia's voice was a raspy whisper before she pressed a featherlight kiss to pale skin, maneuvering them down the hallway and into the bedroom.

When the door was closed, the brunette leaned back against it with Amanda still in her arms, just swaying them back and forth lightly in order to gather her bearings. Her tears were gradually drying as she felt the blonde's fingers against the skin of her lower back, Amanda's hands having brushed underneath the fabric of her blouse.

Kissing the other woman's ear softly, the blonde detective whispered, "Why don't you let me run you a bath, Baby? It will help you relax. I will even hop in with you and get wet all over again."

Olivia chuckled throatily, but nodded, "Yes, please."

Feeling Amanda smile against her, she let herself be pulled into the bathroom.

xxxx

Olivia dipped into the hot water with a small groan, the delicious smell of her lavender bath salts enveloping her as she sunk back into her girlfriend's arms, Amanda's left hand going to her stomach, the other guiding a brunette head back onto her shoulder while the blonde's fingers played with chestnut curls.

Amanda pressed a few soft kisses along the other woman's shoulder before breathing reassuringly into her ear, "Whenever you're ready, Liv."

Sighing deeply, grateful for her love's patience and understanding, Olivia turned her head to the side and pressed a brief but open-mouthed kiss to her girlfriend's lips, her tongue softly stroking Amanda's warmth before she settled back into the slim body behind her once again.

The brunette shook her head, tenderly nuzzling the underside of the blonde's jaw, "This case just has me shaken up, Manda. It's not like I don't think about these things daily anyway, but working this case just threw me off my game. I told Will that there is no such thing as a rape gene; that he is a good person and not a rapist because he is disgusted by the other men in the rape therapy group. I rationalize everything in my head and I know that I'm right, but no matter how strongly I'm trying to believe my own words, there is always that nagging feeling in the back of my head that maybe, just maybe, I'm wrong."

Amanda stayed silent, not wishing to interrupt her girlfriend's musings because she knew that Olivia was not yet finished; the brunette just needed time to sort her thoughts. Hence, her left hand slithered up her love's voluptuous body to settle on her shoulder opposite the other, and she started massaging them to smooth out the knots that had been building there over the past few weeks.

Olivia sighed contentedly at the firm but gentle pressure, easing back into her girlfriend's arms, snugly pressed in between the blonde's legs, "Mmmm, you feel good."

Kissing Olivia's temple softly, Amanda smiled, "So do you, Baby."

The lieutenant breathed deeply, working up the courage to say her next words, "I fear that I might be wrong about proven facts, can you believe it? Psychiatrists and doctors all say that violence and rapist tendencies are not genetically determined and here I am, and all I can think about is how I have gotten angry before. I have been violent. And I'm afraid that this anger and violent tendencies that pushed their way forth before might resurface at any given time, and that I will hurt you or Noah in the process. Then I think about Noah and how every time his school calls one of us, my heart drops because I'm afraid he has hurt a child. I know we parent him very well, based on our moral compasses, but that little voice in my head, asking _what if_ , is ever present. What if his darkness overpowers me and my decisions? What if John Drake's darkness overpowers Noah and his decisions when he is older? What if this darkness overshadows his interactions with people now?"

Pressing another kiss to the brunette's ear, Amanda whispered, "This darkness, Baby, is in every single one of us. I feel it, too. The question is what we make of it. There is not always light, because to every light belongs shadow. What matters is how we choose to act – and that shows who we really are."

Chuckling, Olivia raised an eyebrow and turned her head, "Do you have a degree in psychology that I don't know about?"

Amanda grinned cheekily, "No, I read Harry Potter."

The brunette smiled and connected their lips in a chaste kiss before turning serious again, "You know, I'm terrified of myself sometimes. For example, the thought that… that… Ugh! Sometimes I'm scared of how much I like being in control in bed. If I ever hurt you, I could not live with myself."

Wrapping her arms around Olivia's upper body, Amanda breathed, "You would never, Baby. I love when you take control. Mmmh, when you have me on all fours and just take me? That's the hottest thing in the world for me. I love when you take control just as much as when you relinquish control and let me do the same to you. Watching you from behind and knowing that you are giving yourself to me so freely, even though I know how hard it is for you, makes me love and desire you even more."

Frowning, Olivia shook her head, "It's not hard for me at all. Not anymore. I trust you with my life. I know you would never hurt me."

Amanda peppered the brunette's shoulder and neck with butterfly kisses as she smiled, "See? I feel the same about you. You could and would never hurt me. It is simply not in your nature. Your moral compass and your belief system don't leave room for your father's darkness. It is my firm belief that you could never become him. Which is why I'm convinced that the same applies to Noah. He could never become his father, I have no doubt about that. You and I, we both have our demons, but we chose to live in the light. We keep choosing to live in the light every day and to raise our son the best we can, teaching him our values so he can become a good man. He already is a good boy. Just look at him. You are scared, but that is part of being a parent. We all worry about our children – that's completely normal."

Placing her hands on Amanda's forearms, Olivia whispered hoarsely, "God, I love you."

The blonde squeezed her girlfriend reassuringly in her arms, "I love you too, Baby. Don't worry so much. You are the most amazing and alluring woman that I have ever met and you couldn't ever scare me, okay? You wouldn't hurt me. Also," Amanda leaned closer to the other woman's ear and lowered her voice to breathe hotly, "you make me come like no one else ever could."

Olivia's head fell back onto Amanda's shoulder with a strangled groan, the blonde starting to kiss her girlfriend's neck, her hot, wet mouth traveling up to the brunette's ear to gently nibble at the lobe while her arms slithered back around a curvy waist, "Is this okay?"

Squeezing her girlfriend's arms, Olivia craned her neck to give Amanda better access, "Mmmmh, this is more than okay. It's not enough."

The blonde's tongue started trailing liberally along the older woman's neck, her pulse thumping erratically, and Amanda latched onto the brunette's pulse point, suckling tenderly so as not to leave a mark where it would be visible. As gentle fingers tickled Olivia's curvaceous body, leaving goosebumps in their wake, the brunette's voice was only a breathless whisper, "You feel so good, Baby. I love you."

Nuzzling the other woman's neck with her nose, Amanda murmured against slick skin, "I love you too, Liv."

With that, the blonde started nibbling on Olivia's shoulder once more, her hands now tenderly cupping bulbous breasts, squeezing delicately, her thumbs and forefingers rubbing the brunette's nipples into stiffness. Olivia's body jerked lightly at her girlfriend's touch, making the water around them splash against the edges of the tub, and she moaned, instinctively spreading her legs wider by placing her left on the tub's edge, opening herself for Amanda's touch that inevitably was about to follow.

Her core twitched with every brush of the blonde's fingers against her nipples and Olivia had to suppress the involuntary canting of her hips so as not to flood their bathroom. Feeling herself swollen and ready for Amanda, the brunette leaned her head back and melted against the other woman, a silent encouragement for the blonde to touch her.

Plush lips were back at her ear when Amanda rasped, "Mmmm, you're so beautiful, Liv. A breathtaking sight."

Blue eyes were hungrily taking in Olivia's slick body that was pressed so snugly against her own, her ample chest heaving with arousal and Amanda had to suppress the urge to drag her girlfriend to the bedroom, throw her onto their bed and fuck the daylights out of her, her breasts bouncing and head thrown back as she took everything Amanda had to offer. The blonde, however, knew that it was not what Olivia needed. The brunette needed slow, tender and safe, which Amanda would just as happily give her.

While her left hand stayed on the brunette's chest to alternate between her breasts, her right tickled its way down to the apex of Olivia's thighs, the older woman subconsciously opening herself wider and turning her head to nibble at the underside of Amanda's jaw, letting her girlfriend know that she was ready.

Amanda's hand cupped Olivia's mound tenderly before nimble fingers skillfully slipped between slick folds to explore the wetness that had gathered there and that did not have anything to do with the fact that they were having a bath.

The brunette whimpered at the touch, her hips angling up lightly to match her girlfriend's hand's path, her lower half starting to gyrate rhythmically into her girlfriend's stroking fingers that were drawing tiny, steady circles on Olivia's clit.

Turning her head to the side Amanda hotly whispered into the brunette's ear, "Mmmh, Baby. I love how wet you get for me. You're breathtaking." Rimming the shell with her tongue, the blonde was pleased at the breathless whimper that ripped from the other woman's mouth paired with the twitch of her core.

Olivia reached back, the fingers of her left hand curling into flaxen tresses, the brunette's breathing becoming ragged as she panted against the pale skin of Amanda's jaw. The blonde's fingers worked steadily and relentlessly, her touch deepening gradually, eager to coax more of those sexy, breathy cries from her girlfriend's lips.

Amanda intensified the pressure of her fingers and relished in the feeling of her love starting to tremble in her arms. A firm hand came down to envelop her forearm, squeezing, as Olivia chanted, "Oh, God. Don't stop. Please don't stop, Manda."

Rolling cocoa nipples with her fingers dancing back and forth between Olivia's breasts, the blonde husked, "I'm not going to, Baby. Don't you worry. Let me take care of you."

The brunette's back arched, trying to increase the friction on her nipples while her lower body kept grinding into Amanda's touch. Feeling the familiar coil in her lower belly, Olivia's fingernails dug into the other woman's arm, her thighs shaking with her impending orgasm, "Fuck, Manda. I'm gonna… I'm gonna…"

Using her left hand to turn Olivia's face to level with hers, Amanda fused the two women's lips together in a fiery kiss that was sloppy due to the awkward angle they were in, before rasping into the air between them, "It's okay, Baby. I've got you. Let go. You're safe. I've got you. Come for me."

For a moment, the brunette went rigid in Amanda's arms and then exploded, her sharp teeth sinking into the tender flesh of the blonde's neck to muffle her loud cries. Amanda flinched at the sting, but continued to guide her girlfriend through her climax until the older woman went slack in her arms, shivering through intermittent aftershocks.

Amanda's lips brushed against every part of naked skin that they could reach, both her arms protectively wrapped around her girlfriend once again as the blonde waited for Olivia to come back to her, "God, you are gorgeous."

Olivia nuzzled her neck, leaving a tiny kiss there herself and making Amanda shudder, before whispering, "We're getting a little pruney. Let's get dried off and into bed so I can ravish you. I really want to reciprocate and hear my name rolling from those kissable lips of yours."

Chuckling, Amanda patted the older woman's hips so she could get up, albeit a little wobbly on her shaky legs, the blonde pulling the plug and climbing out of the tub herself. Olivia held her favorite towel out for her to dry off, the fluffy fabric enveloping her like a soft blanket. In her peripheral vision, she saw something that caught her attention in the mirror, making the blonde walk over and inspect the very purple hickey on her neck. Looking at her girlfriend behind her in the mirror, a perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose, "Really? A hickey?"

Biting her lip mischievously, Olivia grinned, "I'm… sorry? It was in the heat of the moment and I didn't want to wake Noah? Or I just really love to mark you as mine."

Amanda tugged at the towel that was snugly wrapped around Olivia's curvaceous body, making it fall to the ground along with her own, before slithering her arms around her girlfriend's neck and softly murmuring against Olivia's lips, "I want you to take me to bed and make love to me all night."

Sucking in a shaky breath, Olivia leaned down to kiss the blonde softly, pulling her smaller frame more tightly against her own body, "Mmmh, please."

With that, they walked in the direction of their bed, arms still around each other, and Olivia sank down, letting the blonde settle on top of her, and for the rest of the evening, soft moans filled the room, declarations of endless love being whispered into the air between them as they made love.

" _Where would I go? What would I do? Who would I be without a woman like you? Have I told you, have I shown you what I'm feeling when I'm holding you? It feels like heaven, heaven surrounds me every time you wrap your arms around me."_

 **Fin.**

 **xxxx**

 **Thank you very much for reading.**

 **The quotes in the beginning and at the end are taken from the song** _ **A Woman Like You**_ **by Johnny Reid.**

 **Reviews are love.**

 **Until next time, my darlings.**


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